#032: A Boy Mom's Response to the #MeToo Movement
As a woman, the #metoo movement speaks to me. I recall the times when men would stand a little too close for comfort... when men would accidentally sweep their hands across my private parts... when men would make me uncomfortable verbally. The movement sparks anger and sadness in me for the women who have also been treated with disrespect.
But the #metoo movement has put a bigger impact on my mama heart.
I am a mom of boys. I have two boys - one is 3 and the other is 1.5
As their mother, I have a great mission of raising them up according to God's way. I have a great responsibility of feeding them truth, helping them recognize their need for a Savior, helping them turn away from sin, so that one day they may - and I pray hard they will - make that decision to boldly proclaim Jesus as their Lord and Savior. And as a result of their hearts following Christ, that they would live out what it means to be godly men, what it means to be servant leaders.
What concerns me is that they would become the men that take advantage of women, men that have no respect for women and have no self-control. The #metoo movement is a testament to men behaving as such in our society - and it's not just prevalent in this country, it is all across the board. Half the times that I was treated with disrespect are from home. I am from Hong Kong - an international metropolitan city. It doesn't matter where you are from or what culture you come from, it happens everywhere. I am sure you, or someone close to you, have had a #metoo experience.
As moms, we cannot rely on the society to teach our boys what it means to be men. The society is made up of sinners. If we just leave it to them, it's like blinds leading blinds. It is not going to go well.
So, what can us moms do? Especially Christ-following moms who so desire their boys to follow Christ.
I don't proclaim myself to have all the answers. But I do think it would wise to do the following 4 things: pray, point and be present & purposeful. (The 4Ps)
1) Pray Feverishly
Pray for yourself.
Pray for guidance and wisdom to raise your boys up to be men of God. Pray for older women to speak into your life and encourage you as a mom of future men. Pray that you will never stop praying for your boys - for their hearts and their spiritual growth.
Pray for your boys.
Pray that the Spirit would put an understanding of the Word of God in their hearts. Pray that they would see their need for Jesus. Pray that they would turn away from sin and pursue God. Pray that their relationships with you would be open and intimate. Pray that they would boldly proclaim Jesus as their Lord and Savior and live out their godly manhood. Pray that they would teach their own boys to do the same, should they be blessed with sons in the future.
Pray for your husband.
Pray for his spiritual intimacy and growth with Jesus. Pray for his spiritual leadership in the home. Pray for your husband to have strong relationships with your boys. Pray that you would become a great helper and encourager in your husband's life. Leading a home is not easy, your encouraging words and pointing him to Jesus would bring so much good.
If your husband is absent or if you are a single parent,
ray for godly men to be in your boys' lives. Men who are strong in their faith in Jesus could make great influence in your boys' lives as they grow.
Speaking of prayers, we will be doing a end-of-year prayer marathon on the 29th. It's an all-day event on FB. Several leaders in womens' ministries are linking arms and taking turns to lead prayers as we give thanks for all that God has done this year and also we will lifting up prayers for the coming year. It's free. It's right on FB. You can hop on anytime anywhere. The goal for this prayer marathon is to simply gather women and pray collectively.
2) Point Them to God's Word
"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:7
Teach them all the time the Word of God. When you wake. When you lie down. All. The. Time. The culture, the world, Satan - they are constantly trying to pull your boys away from God, trying to distract them from pursuing God. But you as their mother, you have been given powerful authority over your boys to influence them, to keep them on the right path. You have to equip them with the truth to replace the lies with. They will not know that Satan is feeding them lies unless they know what is true.
A resource I absolutely love for my boys is the Jesus Storybook Bible. The whole book is written in a language that young children could understand. Each chapter focuses on an important truth about God or Jesus. Sometimes, reading it to my boys, it even helps ME see the Gospel in a different light. It's a great book. You should get it. I'll have the link in the show notes.
3) Be Present
You can't feed them the truth if you are not present. By being present, I don't mean being with them 24/7. It is not realistic. Some of us are working moms. Even if you're a stay-at-home mom, it will not be healthy for you to be around your children without any breaks. You would go insane. Your life is not centered around your children; it should be centered around God. So by being present, I mean that you are purposeful with your time and who your boys spend time with - which leads me to the 4th P.
Be purposeful. Be intentional in how you spend your time with your boys. Don't just let time pass. Because before you know it, they will be out the door heading to college. Be intentional about talking to your boys and listening. Be a good listener - no matter how little or insignificant about the things they want to talk about. Because if you don't listen to them when they have small trivial things to talk about, they would think you don't care. So why would they come to you when they have bigger things to talk about. Why children don't go to their parents, that's when they go to outside sources for advice or help - which you don't know if it would be biblical, godly advice or not.
Also, be purposeful in who your boys spend time with. We talked about praying for godly men to be in their lives. So, be intentional about meeting such men. Invite them over for dinner regularly. Have them be a big part of your boys' lives. The influence of godly men in boys is huge and cannot be underestimated. I once heard a statistics about teenagers and their faith. A lot of times, when they leave home for college, they also leave the faith behind that they grew up with. Those are teenagers who have grown up in Christian homes. However, statistically speaking, if the teenager has in his/her life 5 people strong in their faith (excluding the teenager's parents), he or she is less likely to walk away from the faith. So, who are the 5 people in your teenager's lives right now? If your children are not in the teenage years yet, how can you start building those relationships?
For lots of churches, there are small groups that meet regularly in addition to attending church on Sundays. Those groups would be a great opportunity to build relationships with godly men who could speak truth into your boys' lives. If you are not in a small group, ask your church to be plugged in. If your church doesn't offer one, look around in your community and see if there are other Gospel-centered churches offer small groups.
Mamas, you have been given a privilege to raise your boys up to be future men of God.
Don't waste their time at home with you. Be purposeful. Be intentional. Teach them the truth every single day. And, most importantly, pray pray pray like you've never prayed before. Your prayers as their mother are so powerful. They cannot be underestimated. Your faithful obedience in training your boys up will one day yield great fruit that will be sweeter and more precious than anything you could buy.
So don't give up - I know it's hard when you feel like you're just giving, giving and giving - and you're not seeing fruit or change. But, trust me, be faithful in your shepherding and one day you will reap the harvest. I cannot wait for that day to come :)
Join us for an end-of-year prayer marathon on Facebook!
It's a FREE event happening on the 29th.
Several leaders in womens' ministries are linking arms and taking turns leading prayers.
Let's gather together as sisters in Christ and pray collectively for all that God has done in 2017 and for the coming year.