Pursuing Your Husband Through Self-Care
Half way through the month, we've explored many practical ways of pursuing your husband from having fun and unique date nights to showing love through his love language.
These are all things we do to our husbands, but there are some things we can do to ourselves that will help pursue them.
That is through taking care of ourselves according to our husbands' preferences.
As wives and mothers, we are called to take care of our husbands, our children and our homes.
But if we're not well, whether it be physically, emotionally or spiritually, we cannot take care of our families well.
For me, I hate being sick. Not just because I don't wanna feel miserable, but because I can't really care for my family when I'm laying in bed sick.
I love the quote that says, "You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first."
How true is that?!
Often times, when I don't read the Bible or when I haven't had a me-time in a while, I become short with my kids. I yell and I spank out of anger - not something I wanna do at all.
But if I spend a couple hours reading the Word and/or strolling through my favorite local consignment store, I come home refreshed and my heart is at a much better place - I am ready to jump right back to serving my family in love.
By taking care of ourselves, we are taking better care of our families.
Besides, I want people to respect my husband because I carry myself in a graceful, polished manner ;)
Honey, Do You Like My Hair Done This Way?
When it comes to self-care, I wanna encourage you to take your husband's preference into serious consideration because some of what you do can be used as means to pursue your husband.
We've talked a lot about pursuing our husbands this month - a lot of it is about lifting him up and helping him become the man God wants him to be and also about prioritizing him and making him feel loved, valued, and respected. Some of the biggest and easiest ways of doing so is through dressing ourselves in ways that your husband finds attractive.
Does he like your hair done a certain way?
Does he prefer your natural hair color?
Does it drive him crazy (in a reaaally good way. wink.) when you wear a certain underwear?
It is important to consider his preferences because he's the man you're ultimately trying to please. You're not married to the latest trend; you're married to your husband.
Here's what I'm not saying: I'm not saying that you can only dress in ways your husband finds attractive. I'm not saying you cannot have your own personality/preferences in your appearance. My point is that when you take an extra effort to care for yourself in ways that your husband loves, not only will you be able to care for your family better, it will also do your marriage good.
Here's an example: I love skinny jeans but my husband loves me in a fitted t-shirt and flared jeans. And so when I'm shopping for jeans, I'll look through both their skinny jeans and flared jeans collection. If there's a pair of flared ones that I like, guess what, I buy them and wear them around Grant and he can't get his hands off me. True story.
So here's what you can do today: ask him what he likes.
Find out what he prefers. Pick one and make it happen this week.
To help you get started, here's a list of questions you can ask your husband.
1) How do you like my hair done?
2) What do I wear that you find the most attractive?
3) What do you find unattractive when it comes to how I dress/wear my makeup?
4) Do you like the perfume I wear? Is it too strong?
5) Is there an undergarment you wish I'd get rid of?
6) What type of underwear do you want to see me in?
7) Would you prefer my nail colors to match my outfit?
8) Do you prefer my private part shaved?
In addition to asking him questions and finding out what he likes, here are some bonus ideas for self-care:
1) Go through your undergarments, throw away the old and unsexy ones. Get new ones that will turn your husband on. (One word of caution: if your husband struggles with provocative images, I'd recommend refraining from ordering through Victoria's Secret's online store. I say that because they will mail you their catalogs frequently once you order online. So if you wanna protect your husband's eyes, make a trip to the mall instead of ordering online.)
2) Paint your nails - It's amazing how painting my nails can make me feel so polished. It's a mood booster! (I prefer the nail colors from Essie and Rimmel. I find them to be more chip-resistant, because... #momlife.)
3) Use hair serum - this is a quick way to add shine and smooth out the frizzy hair so you look more put together in seconds.
4) Use dry shampoo - let's be honest. There are days we don't shower, when that's the case, dry shampoo will be your best friend because it absorbs the grease in your hair and freshens up your hair.
5) Ask your husband or a friend to watch the little ones for a couple hours - having this me-time will allow you to come home feeling refreshed and ready to love on your family.
6) Be active - exercising keeps you in shape. Your body will also release endorphins which will lift your mood up and release stress. These are all great reasons to be active.
Pursuing your husband can be as easy as taking care of yourself well. So don't forget about yourself, friend ;)
PS On a related note, I highly recommend listening to my friends' podcast episode on Bringing Sexy Back After Stretch Marks & Diaper Duty. It's a great listen!