40+ Ways to Speak His Love Language

We are the most natural in speaking our own love language.
Interestingly enough, our husbands often speak a different love language.

When we love through our own love language but the other party doesn't seem to receive the love like we expect them to, we can experience hurt and sometimes conflicts can arise.
To avoid that, we should learn to speak our husbands' love language so that our love is received well.

Practical Ways to Speak His Love Language

Physical Touch

  • Give him massages (full body/back/scalp/foot)
  • Give him "just because" hugs + kisses
  • Give him hugs + kisses as you thank him
  • Hold his hands when you're talking to him
  • Have your leg be touching his when you're sitting together
  • Brush his back when you're sitting together
  • Run your fingers through his hair
  • Look him in the eyes when you talk

Acts of Service

  • Do his chore
  • Pack his lunch
  • Take his car in for an oil change
  • Take his car for a car wash
  • Is there something he's been procrastinating? Can you do it for him?
  • Run errands for him
  • Help him with a house project
  • Take his suit to the dry cleaner

Words of Affirmations

  • Write him an encouraging letter
  • Slip a note in his lunch bag (we have these 30 gorgeous notes you can print off)
  • Brag about him in front of his friends & family
  • Text him something that affirms him 5 days in a row
  • Praise him in front of your kids
  • Thank him for the sacrifices he makes for the family
  • Following Philippians 4:8, write down everything about him that is pure, true, just, worthy of praise, etc and give it to him
  • Ask his friends & family to write something they appreciate about him

Quality Time

  • Surprise him with a date night 
  • Surprise him with a getaway or a staycation
  • Go for a walk in the woods with him
  • Share an appetizer at a piano lounge
  • Invite friends over for a game night
  • Don't look at your phone when he's in the room
  • Have lunch with him on a weekday
  • Do something he enjoys without complaint
  • Spend time with his side of family


  • Make a special dessert or drink for him
  • Surprise him with a trip to see his best buddies
  • Take him to a fancy restaurant
  • Get him his favorite candy
  • Give him a fruit tree/shrub
  • Name a constellation after him
  • Surprise him with tickets to see his favorite sports team
  • Stock up on his favorite beer