When Submission is Hard

Wives submit to your husbands in everything as to the Lord.

Submit. In everything. Everything.

Ladies, I can hardly wrap my brain around that, let alone my heart!

I don’t know about you but submitting to anyone/anything just doesn’t happen naturally for me. I don’t want to submit. I want my plan. My agenda. My ways. My speed. My desires. My preferences and on and on and on.

But then you get married and, as a Christian women, the Bible instructs you to submit to your husband in all things.

My husband. Man. Human. A very good, respectable man, I’m sure. But still, a HUMAN!

I have this running argument in my head with God.

I am supposed to submit in all things to another human being. That blows my mind. I have this running argument in my head with God - submit to my husband in all things? This man who I see sometimes do things the way I don’t think things should be done? This man who can’t understand what it’s (truly) like to be a full time stay at home mom?!?!

This sort of submitting is almost painful for me. Don’t we all have an easier time submitting to someone who we know has experienced and gone through what we have gone through?

Have I beat this horse dead yet? So what do I do? I don’t want to just wrap a “pretty bow” with a nice Bible verse for this insanely hard thing we are called to do in a time and culture that gives us so many other options. This sort of marriage - loving, respectful, submitting is no joke. No small thing. If you’re married and trying to do it the right way, you know. So how do we as wives submit to our husbands in everything?

Submission is Trusting in the Lord

Ladies, for me, as much as I enjoy, love and respect my amazing husband, the ONLY truth that can help me do this is that God knows BETTER. THAN. ME. The truth is there are going to be times where I may follow my husband’s lead into something that doesn’t turn out the way I had hoped it would. Times where I will have to let go of something I don’t want to let go of. This isn’t to say my husband doesn’t let me have my way plenty. (If you know my outspoken self and my very soft spoken husband, you KNOW Rob lets me have most of the say). But what I am learning as I have been married for more years is that, yes, most of the time I can beg and plead my case to get my way and I will get my way but even if it’s something good I wanted, no true fruit comes from that! When I sin to get my way - disrespecting my husband with unkind words, manipulation or whining - God is not blessing those choices.

The fruit that comes from a marriage where husbands and wives are submitting to one another is beautiful. I think I’m beginning to see some of that. But for now, what I know is that my understanding of God’s love me is what guides me to obey. I have to trust that God really does love me and so obeying His ways WILL turn out to be for my best even when it doesn’t feel like it or seem like it.

It’s hard. In the midst of a culture that tells us we should always get what we want. Submitting to our husbands in big matters or small matters, our sinful nature is going to scream at us to fight our case. But if our God is good. If our God is the wisest being. If our God made us and knows what is best for us. If He loves us so insanely much to send His Son to take every single sin and hardship upon Himself then surely we can run to him for help. We can trust that this submission to our husbands WILL be for our good and we can run the race set before us because we have a good God that loves us.