Wives and Words by Carrie Sharpe
Words are powerful. Once spoken, they cannot be taken back. They can build people up or tear them down.
Words change everything.
Words can make a situation better, or words can make it worse. This is especially true in marriage. I can make or break my marriage with my words.
My husband, Ryan, has said that he married me for the way I made him feel when we were dating. I don’t think this is unusual. I treated Ryan like a prince when we were dating. He was my knight in shining armor, and I treated him as such. I overlooked his flaws and praised his positive attributes. I complimented him regularly. I admired and respected him. I made him feel like he could conquer the world, and that is partly why he married me. I used my words to build him up and make him feel good about himself.
Like many wives, after years of marriage, somewhere along the way I stopped doing that. Instead, I said things that were harmful. But then an older lady asked me this question:
What if your husband could only ever become the words you say about him?
Such a powerful question. Consider it yourself. That question either reinforces how you currently talk to your husband or gives you pause. Are you saying positive things? Are you building your husband up? Do you speak to your husband like you would want your son’s wife to speak to him?
Your husband thrives on your words. He still longs to hear that he is your prince. He needs to know that you respect him, love him, and think he is capable of anything. He looks to you, his wife, for the ultimate reassurance and confidence.
Your husband may, in fact, become exactly what you say about him.
You can be his biggest cheerleader or his biggest stumbling block. It all depends on what words you speak.
Perhaps you believe you’d be lying if you spoke positive words about your husband. Perhaps you believe your husband is not deserving of your praise. I understand that not every marriage is perfect, and as a Communication Consultant I’ve worked with many women who have a million legitimate reasons not to say nice things about their husbands. Some of their situations are absolutely heartbreaking. Some husbands have been downright cruel, rude, and insensitive to their wives. On the flip side, some wives have wasted years berating, embarrassing, and criticizing their husbands.
The old saying, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all” might apply here. For some wives, not saying anything is an enormous step in the right direction. Bite your tongue when you want to say something that is not helpful. Decide instead to use words that are productive and take steps to make your marriage better.
Despite your current circumstances, you have a choice about your future. Your husband does, too.
You always have a choice.
You choose what your words will be from this day forward.
Tomorrow can be better than today if you make it so.
Wives, regularly take time to reflect on your word choices. You cannot control your husband’s words; you can only control your own. Ask yourself these questions:
Would I like to be spoken to in the way I speak to my husband?
Am I making regular deposits into my husband’s emotional bank account with my words?
What attributes does my husband have that I can go out of my way to compliment him on?
What are my husband’s weaknesses? How can I encourage him in those areas?
Do I ever embarrass my husband in public? Why do I do that? How can I stop?
What unresolved issues exist between my husband and me? How can we resolve them?
What plan can I put in place to build my husband up with my words from this day forward?
Be intentional about what you say to your husband. Choose your words carefully. Decide today to be the kind of wife you can be proud of. Decide today to make your husband feel like your prince. Make the decision to work through whatever unresolved issues are holding you back, and seek professional help if necessary. Build your husband up.
Your words are powerful. Use them wisely.
Hey! Maggie here. I'm so grateful for Carrie to share this important message.
It's crucial we don't neglect our husbands' desire to get encouragement and respect through our words. That's why I created this textable love notes package called Milk & Honey. The best part about it? It's a FREE resource for you!
With Milk & Honey, you can easily put a smile on your husband's face.
Milk & Honey includes 30 beautifully designed love notes you can text your husband. It allows you to show love and respect through words of admiration, adoration and affirmation.
In addition to texting, you can also print them off. Think of the extra sweetness he will get when he finds them in his lunchbox!
Get the love notes package for FREE now through the link below: